Never The Same
by Undead-Ciela
Summary: After Rin passes from an illness... and many other deaths follow. Len falls into a deep depression only to be pulled back up by... Who? UPDATE!- New chapter reveals Len's new potential love interest! { This story isn't the best but I really appreciate all the love its getting. I will update this again soon. }
1. Forgetting

He sat there at the bus stop, waiting for her. He had been waiting for a while and he became worried. They were supposed to go to their special place on top of a hill and stare down at the rows of flowers that created a carpet down the side as the sunset rested against their skin, holding each other close.

But she never showed up. He looked down at the bouquet of sunflowers in his hand and sighed.

"She's not coming Len... you should just give up." Said a deep voice from behind him. Len jumped and turned to see an individual with long purple hair and a silk kimono.

"She will come Gakupo. Just go away..." He pouted and turned, leaning back on the bench.

"But Len, she's dead. She died last year. How do you keep forgetting?" The other walked over and sat next to small teen, rolling his sleeves up a bit and turning his head to glance over at him. He studied his face and showed a sympathetic expression, wiping Len's tears away.

"I-I miss her so much... It's all my fault she's dead... I'm a fool..." Len sobbed and dropped the bouquet, hugging his purple-haired friend.

Gakupo caressed his hair and cooed to him. Len was like a son to him and Rin was like his daughter, but after her passing, Len and Gakupo haven't been the same. Kaito, Meiko, Luka and Gumi all banded together to try and make them feel better, but nothing really helped. Gakupo and Len were the most affected by this and slipped into a deep depression that only the two of them understood, they all missed Rin but the two missed her most.

They would do anything to get her back, or just to see her one more time. To see her bright smile and her kind eyes, watch her and Len run in the field of flowers and laugh like siblings do.

Len and Gakupo went home, going into Rin's untouched room and sitting on the floor. They then proceeded to sob and hold each other. Their world was empty without Rin, they couldn't do anything without her. They needed Rin. After that, they ended up crying themselves to sleep.

Luka came home later on and saw them asleep, a sad smile on her face. She helped them to bed, Neru in the kitchen. Gakupo and Len slept soundly and both woke at a later time, walking into the dining room and seeing that here was food made.

Len saw Neru and felt his eyes well up with tears. "N-Neru…" He sniffled and ran to her and hugged her tightly. Gakupo did the same to Luka and nuzzled into her neck. Neru gently rubbed Len's back and swayed.

"It's alright… don't cry… please." She kissed the top of his head and wiped the single tear that fell. "Have some food… please… We made this just for you two."

"You guys need to eat. I'll get you something to drink." Luka kissed Gakupo softly and sat him in a chair, going into the kitchen to get some drinks, Neru and Len sat down, holding hands as Len sniffled.

"H-How was South Korea...?" Len rested his head on Neru's shoulder and squeezed her hand.

"I had fun… but I'm sorry I missed Rin's Funeral… I should have been there." She pulled his hair out of its usual ponytail and ran her fingers through it.

"Our birthday is in a month… She would be 16…" Len whimpered and rubbed his eyes.

Luka came over with drinks and they all sat, had a moment of silence to honour Rin and then began eating, still in silence.


	2. Betrayal

Some time passed and the weather got colder and colder, Len got more and more depressed, the memory of his sister haunting him everywhere he went. He wasn't even safe in his own mind and the thought of his sister drove him to madness, as it did Gakupo.

That morning before Len left for school he watched Gakupo cuddle Luka just before going to work, rubbing her bulging belly. Luka looked so happy but then Len could see the sadness and the tired hints in her eyes, Gakupo was too broken to even notice them and that just hurt Len to see his father figure and mother hurting but only one noticing the others pain and making some kind of effort to help them.

Len walked out of the house and hid in the bushes, watching Gakupo as he left. He saw him get in his car, put his case beside him and rest his forehead on the steering wheel. Len sighed and walked off to school.

He went through school slowly and walked home yet again, seeing Gakupo's car in the driveway but Luka's gone. He walked inside and picked up a small note left on the counter for him. It read:

_Len, _

_ I had a doctor's appointment so I won't be home. I left you some banana bread in the fridge if you want a snack. If you need anything you can just text or call me. Love you~_

_ -Mommy ( Luka ) _J

He smiled and slipped the note into his pocket, getting some bread from the fridge and leaning against it. He sighed and then closed his eyes, enjoying the silence until he heard a creak. "What? Oh yeah Gakupo's home…" He nibbled on the bread and heard a strange noise with a few more creaks, now noticing a pair of boots by the front door with Gakupo's. He dropped his book bag and walked down the hall to go see what the noises were.

He soon came across his parents' bedroom door, he placed is ear against the door and listened closely.

"Oh… Aah!" And other strange muffled noises came from behind the door. It sounded like a girl…. Like Gumi. Len opened the door right away to see Gakupo in bed doing 'the deed' with Gumi.

Len's jaw dropped "G-Gakupo?..." He backed away from the door.

Gakupo went harder into Gumi before noticing Len and his eyes widened once he did. "Len…"

Len ran out of the house after seeing that and sprinted all the way down the street, calling Luka.

"Hello? Len? I'm on my way home…. Wait… are you crying? What happened?" He wiped his eyes and tried his best to tell her everything. Luka blinked and gripped the phone in anger. "Go to Neru's house… I'll pick you up later." She hung up and parked in the driveway. Len sniffled and walked down to Neru's house.

He knocked on her door and hugged her tightly when she opened it. She was a bit surprised but hugged back. "What's wrong?"

"… G-Gakupo… ch-cheated… with Gumi… I-I saw… them…" Len huffed and stumbled to the bathroom, throwing up into the toilet and remembering what he saw. Neru came in after him and rubbed his back in a comforting way.

"I'm so sorry you saw that…" She sighed and answered his phone when it rang, chatting with the person on the other end and soon hanging up. "Luka said Kaito is coming to get you… you're staying there tonight."

He rested his chin on the rim of the toilet. "O… okay.." Kaito and Meiko worked at Len's school, they were the schools health assistants and on some days Kaito was a substitute for music, gym and one of the consolers. Meiko worked in the office with Kaito when he wasn't subbing and Len had been seeing them a lot lately ever since Rin died.

Meanwhile at their house Luka was furious, storming into their home and basically throwing Gumi out of the house. "How dare you have sex with my husband in my own bed? Get off my lawn and out of my sight, you cow!" She growled and threw her clothes out as well, Gumi grabbed them and ran off sobbing. After, Luka turned to Gakupo, "Just because you're hurting from Rin's death and sexually frustrated because I'm currently carrying your child, doesn't give you no right to take another woman or girl, shall I say and do it in **our** bed. Len saw, are you aware of that? You're the only fatherly figure he has and you've gone and screwed him up even more than he already was." She dried her tears with her sleeve and glared at him.

"Luka… I-I'm sorry… Please don't do this. Where's Len? Is he in the car? May I see him? Please!" Gakupo pleaded but to no avail.

"He's staying with Kaito and Meiko tonight and going to school in the morning. I can't believe you would do it again after I chose to trust you, let alone doing it with one of my friends!" She rubbed her belly and sighed.

Gakupo tried to pull her close but she struck him in the chest with her elbow and walked out of the house. "Think about what you've done… I'm going to go stay with Meiko too." And with that she got in the car and left.

Neru and Len cuddled on the couch while waiting for Kaito to pick him up. Len rested his head on Neru's chest and relaxed as Neru petted him. "Want some more water?"

"Sure… but… I just want to cuddle a bit more. Before I have to go…" He stroked her long ponytail and sighed. "I want to hold you for as long as I can…" He sat up and pulled himself next to her, then pulled her onto his lap. Len caressed her cheek and kissed her nose. "You… really help me… Thanks for always being there."

"It's no problem. I care for you…" He smiled at this and placed a kiss on her lips.

"I care for you too… a lot." He heard a knock at the door and frowned. "I think I have to go now…"

Neru pouted and held him tightly. "I love you…" She sniffled. "I hope everything clears up."

Len nodded and kissed her again, this time longer. Tears falling down his cheeks as he held her and the kiss. The knocking on the door got more impatient and after a while the door opened. "Len we gotta go get dinner. Where are you?" A soft, deep voice carried through the house, making Len pull away and get up, placing Neru on the couch.

"I'm in here Kaito…" He sighed and watched as a tall, blue-haired man walked into the room.

"Hey Neru!" He grinned and waved, then looking towards Len. "You okay bud?" He patted his head. "Let's get going…"

Len nodded and looked at Neru, bending down and kissing her cheek before leaving.


	3. Bloodshed

Len and Luka sat in the car with Meiko and Kaito. They all went out to dinner. Listening to the sound of plates hit the table and glasses clinking together, it was very loud and the light were turned low. Smoke wafted around the large room, someone was smoking a cigarette. Len cringed and slumped in his seat, picking at his salad with his spoon. Luka sighed.  
The dinner stayed quiet. The car was the only sound heard on the way home. Luka cradled her belly and Len stared out the window as he usually did. They got home and after a few hours Kaito came back with some stuff from their house.

"Gakupo wasn't there when I got there. Good thing too... I would have kicked his ass so hard..." Kaito's jaw tightened. "I'm so sorry it happened again Luka... I promised it wouldn't happen again.." Len watched them sadly for a bit and frowned, going inside the house, finding the sharpest knife he could find and locking himself in the bathroom.

All he did was stare at that knife. He though deeply about suicide... how he longed to be with his sister, but he couldn't just abandon Luka. He saw his past, present and future in that knife. Finally he sighed and began cutting himself.

A few days later there was a news story about a suicide happening at the park. In front of about 20 kids from a birthday party. The reporter said that the victim was tall and lean with long purple hair. Len froze. _Did... did he really? Was it him? No... he wouldn't._

They pulled up a picture and his name, age, birthday and date of death. Len couldn't look and Luka had to leave the room. Gakupo had committed suicide in front of pre-schoolers on a field trip through the park. He stabbed himself with a knife right in the throat and twisted. He made sure it hurt. It looked as if an animal had mangled his throat. Len didn't feel sorry for him at all.

Gumi held a service for him. Everyone had found out about what Gakupo did and no one showed up at the funereal. Len laughed at her. He couldn't help but think about that day, when he walked in on them in the bedroom. He'll never forget that... He hurt his mother again. Gakupo will pay. The fact that Gumi still cared for him even when he cheated on his pregnant wife with her and killed himself in front of a group of kids... was a bit disturbing.

After a few weeks Gumi came over to Kaito's. Kaito and her stood on the front porch and just stayed silent. They didn't look at each other. They didn't really move and their breathing was shallow. Len watched from the crack in the not-so-closed-all-the-way door.

Suddenly, Gumi grabbed Kaito and kissed him. She pushed him back and when they neared the door Len crawled as fast as he could down the hall. Gumi had Kaito against the wall with her tongue down his throat when Luka woke up and saw them. Kaito had his eyes wide open and was trying to get air into his lungs. Luka clenched her jaw and grabbed a bat from the closet, She was done with Gumi, her eyes were a bright, blazing blue as she pried Gumi off the struggling male and proceeded to beat the green haired girl with the bat. She kept swinging and mashing the young woman's body with the bat when her face was barely recognizable. Blood coated the walls and Luka panted. Len had watched the whole thing and wondered why he didn't try to stop her. All he did was hide in the bathroom and vomit until his guts were dry of anything.

He wasn't sure... How much longer he could live with all this hurt.

He was **_sickened_ **by the colour **red**, the **red** that now _**dripped**_ from the walls.

The** red** that _**leaked**_ from Gakupo's body.

The same** red** that Rin was forced to cough up as she died a _**slow, painful death**_.

Later that night, Len helped Meiko clean the blood while Kaito and Luka got rid of the body.

_**/ Yes. This all just happened. I am so sorry for a late but... gruesome... chapter. I have been extremely busy with stuff for an anime I'm making with friends and a manga I am making in my spare time. Also problems at home... but lots of people have problems. If you want more then I will continue this. Give me some ideas for others as well. I am willing to do anything. I am working on another chapter of yaoi. Maybe a happy fanfiction as well. **_

_**Until next chapter, **_


	4. Fatality

Blood is... well... I don't now how to describe it. It smells like metal, tastes like copper and is red. Of all the colours in the entire spectrum, red.

Len's POV :

After Luka and Kaito got rid of the body and Meiko and I cleaned all the blood we just sat in the living room. We didn't know what else to do and... well. What was there to do?

Gumi and Gakupo were dead. What else was there? We could play video games or... talk, eat, go for a walk, draw pictures, sing.

_Anything_.

We had handfuls of things we could do but we just chose to sit there and think about what had happened. I honestly didn't know what to say. Breathing the air at that moment was one of the most difficult things to do. Breathing was getting harder by the second.

My eyes burned with tears, my lungs burned with each deep, desperate breath of oxygen I took. My body was numb, as if someone was slowly pressing thousands upon thousands of needles into every part of my body. My head pounded as if someone was slamming every part of my skull on the cement to the beat of a song.

I suddenly stood. "I... am going to call Neru. I want to hang out with her right now..." I looked at everyone though they didn't look up at me.

**[ WARNING, THERE PROBABLY WILL BE A SEX SCENE NOW. IF THERE IS I APOLOGISE. ]**

They didn't answer me so I called Neru and we stayed at her place. It was a quiet evening like any other, we cuddled and watched movies or made a snack and then walked around her neighbourhood. She lived in a nice quiet place and it was an amazing temperature outside.

Her long golden hair was beautiful in the setting sun and for the first time in awhile I smiled at her just like I used to. Her pale face was brought to life, I wrapped my arms around her and leaned in to kiss her cheek softly when she turned her head quickly and we kissed. At first I was surprised but I closed my eyes and brought her close to me. I held her for dear life as we kept our lips pressed in passion.

It was the best thing to happen to me in forever and... When I say that I mean it literally.

Neru and I went back to her house, we went to her room and somehow I couldn't stop myself from kissing her or touch her. Neru didn't stop me either. Before I knew it we were in bed, I on top of her and we were naked. Sudden noises and waves of pleasure, the room was hot, humid. I had no control of my body and I had no idea what I was doing.

I had no idea what happened.

This went on for about 30 minutes. In and out motions, hot and cold, wet... and dry. Neither Neru nor I could stop the frenzy.

"L-Len... I can't hold it for much longer... a-ah~." She mewled loudly as I went faster and deeper, I couldn't control anything and I suddenly released into Neru after she climaxed. I filled her only a bit then we crashed, having no energy we just laid there.

Days upon days later, Neru and I didn't speak. We didn't see each other. Neru's father came back and found us in her bed naked.

"What the hell do you think you're doing in my house?! Where the hell are your clothes Neru?" He glared at the both of us.

"Daddy please-!" Neru pleaded only to be interrupted by her sister, Miku.

"You little whore. I knew you'd spread your legs first, Teto is too stupid to even think about that." She smirked at me and Neru, I held a blanket over Neru. I wanted to keep her safe.

"Miku what the hell is wrong with you? Neru is no whore, if there's any whore in the room its you. I know what you did with Gakupo before he was with Luka and what you did with Yuma, Dell, Piko and you even tried to seduce Kaito... and me." I clenched my jaw and huffed. "..."

"Len..." Neru rubbed my arm.

I sighed and took a deep breath. Their father grabbed me by the back of my neck and dragged me out of the house.

After that whole incident Neru's father decided to move back to South Korea.

When I got back home Luka and Meiko did this drug test on me, there was trace of a sex drug in my system... The only person I could think of who would do such a thing was Miku, but she was long gone. Along with Neru.

Later on in that very same week I found out that their plane crashed into the ocean because the pilot was distracted. Miku just doesn't know when to stop, does she?


	5. A New Begining

Time went by in a dark haze until one morning when Luka's water broke. She clung to Kaito on the way to the hospital as Meiko drove, nearly getting in a car wreck. We hurried in and the nurses quickly took her. It all moved so fast. The screams and cries... all in a rush. I couldn't take it. I got up from my seat and headed off to the bathroom.  
On my way i stpped, hearing soft crying, looking over to see a small white haired boy sobbing into his hands.

"Piko...?" I bit my lip. What do i say next? "... Are you okay? What's wrong?..." I sat causiously and waited for an answer.

He soon looked up, his eyes full of tears. His face pale. "M...M-My mother... She's.. g-gone.." He sputtered softly,  
his lip quivering.

I gulped. "... I'm so sorry... Would.. you like a hug? Or.. some water?" I pulled my hair back behind my ear and leaned forward, scaning his face.

He hicked and nodded slowly, suddenly embracing me. I blinked and my eyes grew wide. His grip tight yet weak.

Without saying anything more we just sat there for awhile until the hallway became utterly silent and to break that silence I picked Piko up as I stood and carried the sleeping teen over to where Meiko rests. Kaito now beside her.

I tense up and take a deep breath. "Is... Luka okay...?"

Kaito looked up at me and nodded, a small yet bright smile on his face. "She and the baby are fine. Just resting.  
Is he going to be okay?" He gestured to Piko and I just pulled him closer.

"Yeah.. he'll be fine. He lost his mother... He needs to sleep." I gazed down upon his pale face.

Kaito patted my back and looked over at Meiko. "Can you take Len and Piko home really quick?" She grinned and got up, the three of them quickly heading out to the car and pushed forward to home.  
~~~~~

Once Piko and I were inside I laid him down on my bed and went into the kitchen to make some tea and grab a snack for him.  
I sat by him until the snow haired boy woke and looked around.

"Where... am I?" He looked up at me. "Len...? Is this your house?..."

I nodded and offered him a cracker. He took it and ate it almost desprately. He was such a thin boy... Had he been eating enough in the first place?

Piko and I sipped our tea and sat in silence just like in the hospital. After awhile i put my cup down and laid next to Piko. I pulled him close to me and held him there, no matter how awkward anyone would have thought it was. "I'm here for you... Piko... never forget that okay?.. You can tell me anything. I will do all I can to help you."

He sniffled and rolled over onto his side. "... You're the first person to say that. I'll repay you I promise..."

I blinked and shook my head. "No Piko... You don't have to do anything for me. Besides eat, live and be happy. Can you do thosethings for me?..."

Piko bit his lip , going deep into thought before answering. "Of course... Now... Let's both rest up... you need it." Piko smiled, though even if it was only a half smile I knew what it meant.

This was one of the greatest things to have happen. With many to follow.

[[ Hey! Sorry it took so long to make a new chapter. I've been so busy with school and trying to manage everything. I hope this is good don't worry it will only get better or worse for Len depending on how I think it should go. Until next time.

\- Undead-Ciela :Written at 3:06 am:


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